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Before Garden of Innocence was formed, abandoned children who died in San Diego County were cremated and scattered at sea or buried in unmarked graves at Mount Hope Cemetery.
Now, their lives are celebrated and their deaths grieved through the dignity of a personalized burial service and a permanently marked grave -- acknowledging their name.
Have you ever wondered how a memorial service comes together? Here is your answer!
The Garden of Innocence is contacted whenever a deceased child is deemed abandoned by the County of San Diego. There are two categories of abandonment.
The unidentified child: We have no idea who the parents are and the baby was found in a location other than a hospital. This usually involves an investigation by the authorities, which could take a few months or up to a year.
The abandoned child: This baby died at an area hospital and the parents did not claim the body. The hospital has to document and certify a 30-day search attempt to find the parents and/or to convince the parents to claim the body. In this case, at the end of 30 days the hospital delivers the paperwork to the County Medical Examiner, who reviews the paperwork to ensure the hospital has complied with the search and contact requirements. The CME then delivers the paperwork to
the Public Administrator who issues a Certificate of Abandonment.
Whether abandoned or unidentified, when a Certificate of Abandonment is issued the Public Administrator calls Elissa Davey, our founder, and she starts the chain of care for the dear baby by selecting the next name on the list of names previously received by someone that has done something special for the Garden. Providing a name is the first priority in offering a gift of dignity to the child, this is something every human being deserves - A Name of their Own!
Next, Elissa calls our Service Coordinator who oversees the process of providing a dignified burial for the child. Many volunteers contribute time and talent to ensure that each part of every memorial service provides a loving, respectful, and dignified remembrance of thebaby's life.
Our Mortuary Coordinator secures the services of a volunteer mortuary. Our Cemetery Liaison, works with El Camino Cemetery, where the burial plots of Garden of Innocence are located. She coordinates a burial date, based on the availability of the Death Certificate. In addition, she arranges for all of the gravesite needs: chairs, awning, sound system, grave open
and close duties, as well as arranging for the obituary in the newspaper, ordering the individual grave marker or arranging addition of the baby's name to the scatter garden memorial plaque. Wilbert Vaults donates the burial vaults and Desert Valley Monuments donates the grave markers.
The Mortuary Coordinator maintains a cache of mortuary relationships that can be called upon to donate services depending on the circumstances of the baby. This includes issuance of a Death Certificate and storage of the body until the service date. In addition to maintaining the current relationships with volunteer mortuaries, this coordinator is asked to find new volunteer mortuaries to help when needed.
Elissa or Netreia Carroll, one of our Board Members, will take a casket out of our storage locker, along with two blankets and a toy, and go pick up the baby. The baby will then be taken to the volunteer mortuary. While transportation, care, and administrative tasks are being handled for the baby, the Service Coordinator marshals help from the Service Team volunteers for the graveside service.
Our Flower Coordinator arranges for floral items needed for the service. In addition to this formal arrangement service attendees often add their own flower donations for which we are always grateful.
Our Music Coordinator secures volunteer musicians for the service. Every baby is given a poem, written especially for them, to be read at their memorial service. Our Poetry Coordinator, contacts a volunteer on his Poet's list to provide the baby's poem.
Our Honor Guard Coordinator arranges for the presence of the 4th Degree Knights of Columbus. This organization has been present for every Garden of Innocence service, in their colorful, formal attire, to escort of the baby into the Garden. Their rpesentation of swords adds a wonderful sense of dignity to our services.
Our Officiate Coordinator maintains a pool of volunteers willing to Officiate at our memorial services. As a nondenominational, non-profit, we are open to volunteers from all denominations and organizations. You do not have to be an ordained priest or minister to officiate for a Garden of Innocence service. We only ask that you do not mention the past or the word "abandoned" or" thrown away". This is a new day and we are here to celebrate this little child going home.
Our Closing Service Coordinator prepares the closing speech and asks attendees at the service to volunteer in the closing by releasing doves, or balloons, or to respectfully recite the names of all the children resting in the Garden.
On the day of the service, our Garden of Innocence representative will return to the mortuary and pick up the child to take to the service, although some mortuaries volunteer to provide a hearse delivery.
Other volunteers send the service announcement email, print and/or hand out the memorial booklets at the service, volunteer to read poems, host the guest book, or hold the flower petal containers graveside. And still more provide the homemade blankets and caskets, or contribute money to cover the costs of the service or related administration that is not covered by volunteer labor. These gifts are always welcome.
As you can see, it takes many hands and hearts to love these children into eternity. There is always a way that you can help. Please visit the volunteer page of our website or speak to any volunteer after a memorial service.
Read Jeanette's Story
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